Metaphysically You

As I canoddle with my thoughts
They wrap themselves around you
or perhaps, just a representative metaphysical hue
I cogitate what I dare not say aloud
For fear that if someone else here's it
Then I'll have to adhere to it
"I cannot live without you!!"
And what's worse, it's not my choice
If I do or if I don't
If I will or if I won't
You already exist to me; always with me
In metaphysical form that is
A part of me has actually become afraid
Afraid of the real you; the real thing
Because you just may not live up to
The expectations of my metaphysical you
You dine in my mind all the time
eating my brain cells alive
My words may say different things
But they always mean 'you'
My body may show I don't care
But my emotions can't lie to their creator
Funny thing that, I spend my days daydreaming
And my evenings eveningdreaming
And you are always there
Visiting me in the same exact outfit
Nothin'
And then we assume our positions and I go hunting
You in full flight, me in full pursuit
Ain't that a hoot?
That we live our lives metaphysically
Well you anyway, and I somehow remain real
To me
See
Sometimes I wish I knew me
But weren't me
So that you could see
That I wish to be
What you want me to be
Currently
That's an impossibility
So I go on living how I live
Giving to you how I give
Never requesting, but always needing
What you got to give
You fall through my sieve
Each time
Unable to be held
Really
for real
In case you didn't know it
You hold something I want
It is life
My life