I'm Just Me

Every day. Each day. I live. And I need you to understand that. My detriment is to be in this world, but it’s not how I live in it. My existence is one mired in disbelief, but every day, each day, I must curry favor to that which allows me to breathe. That which guarantees you hear a "Hello" on the other end of the phone whenever the mood hits you to call.

That what I know doesn't come from study, but from real life experiences that make me as much knowledgeable as you are. That you don't attain 30 years of existence on a wing and a prayer without applying the skills that is to listen and learn.

I have learned. I learn, I am learning. I will learn what it is to be a better me amidst the sea of "like" me's and choose the right course of demeanor like my outfits I choose each morning to go to work. And yet, I understand my dimensions. There are more than 3 because I see that which is not tangible. And those said things are outside of the 3 dimensions my corneal lenses can refract to me.

My world is of one that seeks ignorance abstinence and I cannot. . .I repeat, I cannot let myself down. Why? Because I was taught better. Therefore, I learn better. This is not even just me talking right now; this is the better part of me, which knows when it is ok to let the worse part of me do what it do, while pulling on the reigns when things appear to be on the verge of getting out of hand.

I fear failure, not because I believe I will fail, but because we all, at some point play a not so friendly game of duck-duck-goose with failure and sometimes, we're tagged the goose.

Coincidence? Never. But we should know that to fail is not the end of the world, just like to be tagged "goose" is not the end of the game. Instead, we must become the lion on gazelle legs that is both hungry and scared of being eaten. But each must remain alive until that point in time when earthly we are no more.

Or at least no more alive than whence we first started to understand we could not live forever. . .physically. I've already solidified my non-earth existence. I do so every day. Each day. As I live.

This is a piece of who I am. Please Love me.